"I'm rich and I'm dead sexy" -Fat Bastard
Physical appearance and behaviorEdit
An immensely obese (weighing in at a metric ton) henchman turned Semi-Pro Sumo Wrestler hailing from Scotland, Fat Bastard served Dr. Evil in his quest to defeat Austin and conquer the World. He is noted for his foul temper, his frequently breaking wind, and his unusual eating habits, namely a taste for babies (and anything that looks like a baby, e.g. midgets). He tries to refuse Dr. Evil's money for his services in exchange for eating Mini-Me. (A commonly repeated quote is him saying to Mini-Me "I'm bigger than you, I'm higher in the food chain! Get in ma belly!") He has a penchant for singing the Chili's Babyback Ribs song. Fat Bastard has problems controlling his defecation patterns, as evidenced by his constant remarks of "turtleheads" and "skidmarks." His lack of appreciation for others having to deal with his stench extends into a sort of self-pride about the subject, especially in regards to his flatulence and the "leavings" he produces for those performing his Sumo laundry duties. When participating in Sumo matches, he wears a flannel colored mawashi, which could potentially help to disguise his skidmarks.
The Spy Who Shagged MeEdit
Fat Bastard stole Austin's Mojo in 1969, leaving Austin impotent in 1999 during coitus with Ivana Humpalot. Secret agent Felicity Shagwell places a homing device in his anus after seducing him. However, the device is ineffective, having been passed during one of Fat Bastard's bowel movements. After Austin learns of Felicity's deed with Fat Bastard, he is bewildered that she was even able to sleep with him without being crushed. During his final assassination attempt against Austin, upon being prompted by Felicity, Fat Bastard can be quoted as saying "I eat because I'm unhappy and I'm unhappy because I eat. It's a vicious cycle. Now if you excuse me, there's someone I need to get in touch with and forgive: myself," after which he passes wind. He becomes frustrated and tries to kill Austin and Felicity anyway. Felicity incapacitates him with a kick to his testicles.
Fat Bastard has left Dr. Evil's employ, relocating to Japan. There he becomes a sumo wrestler and, despite trying to go "straight," still occasionally carries out the odd job for Dr. Evil. This is seen by both Austin and Foxxy when he makes an exchange with Mr. Roboto. Eventually he loses all of his excess body fat, thanks to the Subway diet. He further expands to Austin and Foxxy during their film's premiere, "I've got a bit of excess skin though. And unfortunately, ma neck does kinda look like a vagina." He appears to be none the worse for wear, apart from his obvious loose skin, and even appears to have lost his stench and gained some sort of mental stability.
Fat Bastard is neither physically or mentally fit. He previously might have had stool problems. Austin makes the statement, "Fat Bastard left a floater." This could point to obvious signs his health was failing. Fat Bastard has even remarked on the stench of his own flatulence, describing it as a mix of carrots (presumably steamed) and vomit. He now is in far better health, aside from his loose skin, and subscribes firmly to the Subway diet, even citing Jared as a hero. It is unknown how Fat Bastard feels about Jared's current day shenanigans.
Reception and CensorshipEdit
His politically incorrect name has caused some uproar, and has put some individuals in a precarious position when trying to identify him. Roger Ebert referred to Fat Bastard as, "We can't even say his name!"; and some film critics in conservative papers refer to him as "obese illegitimate child". A figurine released for the character lists him as "Fat Man" on the box. Nonetheless, Fat Bastard is one of the most beloved and well received Powers characters, having been the subject of multiple memes since his inception in 1999. Fat Bastard has been immortalized in pop culture, nearly to the same degrees as Dr. Evil. This is especially fascinating, considering they are portrayed by the same actor.
- "First things first: WHERE'S YOUR SHITTER?! I've got a turtle head poking out!"
- "I'm bigger than you, I'm higher in the food chain! GET IN MAH BELLY!"
- "Jesus Christ, this diaper's making my nuts rub together ... it's gonna start a FIRE!!"
- "(looking in the toilet) What the ... I DIDN'T HAVE ANY CORN!!!!"
- "I just hope my wire-fightin' team is readyyyyyyy!!"
- "I ATE A BABY!!!!!"
- "Suck my balls....NOW!!!!!"
- "Oh! Right in the mummy-daddy button!"
- "Hey, diaper lady. Here's mah diaper. (laughs) I think I pinched one off too soon. (sniffs mawashi) Oh, aye. I left a rosebud in there for ya."
- "I'm dead sexy!"
- "Oh great! Now it smells like someone took a shit in a pine tree!" (scene deleted, can be heard on the Spy Who Shagged Me DVD)
- (to Foxy Cleopatra) "OHHHHHHHHHH MA TITTIES!!!"
- "Come here, I'm gonna eat ya! I'm bigger than you, I'm higher on the food chain! Get in my belly!"
- "Here, baby, here, baby....I'm gonna eat ya!"
- "You're lucky, wee man!"
- "Sorry. I farted".
- "Dr. Evil, let me make you a deal alright, you keep your Mojo, you keep your money, and i'll get your baby (licks lips)